Mind in words…
A crack at understanding the meaning of what goes in my mindArchive for Life
Mumbai home hunting and Society high handedness
This experience is of hunting for a house in mumbai on rent. Well its common knowledge that rents in mumbai are the highest in the country (considering comparing it across all other metros is enough), and thats exactly the reason why even owners with sub standard houses are expecting a mine full of green paper from tenants.
Brokers and Landlords work in tandem to raise the prices every year. In fact what really happens is that , most of the houses on rent can only be rented through brokers. Now comes the worst part, owners expect say X amount from their houses . What some brokers do is , forge a deal with the owner saying i will surely get you X ( X itself is pretty high !) but in case i get anything above X ill keep that share out of the rent for the next 11 months. So , the broker gets you the booty which you want and he keeps anything hes able to achieve above that. This is one of the reasons why prices keep soaring.
Another reason for high prices – the borkerage, which usually ranges from 1 to 1.5 months rent. So, higher the rent, higher the brokerage thus burning a hole into the tenants pocket.
A word of caution though : This experience is limited to Andheri and surrounding areas and was limited to only 2 months of hunting for livable spaces which were fully furnished (Though me and my flatmates also saw many unfurnished and semi furnished places as well).
We tried to do something different when we were out hunting, we asked the broker to get us a good deal and fix the brokerage before hand 
. But he was not the one to fall into our trap. While we wanted the best deal , he was too concerned about making money. Reason : Demand has outstripped constricted supply in this overly congested city of mumbai.
Another reason is that some of the landlords keep their houses vacant so that some inexperienced idiot comes along and pays them a stupidly high sum which had no corelation to the plush (haha plush !!) house he/she got.
We were looking for some good 2 BHK fully furnished houses in Andheri East area (rents varying from 28K to 45 K) and infact in the end got one house which we all liked but the demand for rent was huge ….wasnt fitting our budget. Infact it dint have ACs , TV and Sofas but owner agreed to out them in for total package of 29 K but when we said we dont need ACs he said the reductyion in rent would not be in same proportion to increas ein rent . We gave in as we had to move in quickly or else we wouldve found ourselves on the street .
Now when we took our stuff to move in we were suprised to find an idiot standing between us and the house askinmg us to produce the permission from the Managing committee of the Society for moving in. We were suprised , asked our broker and the owner about this stupid demand of his. They had no clue . We were stranded with all our stuff in front of the society in full throttle mumbai rain and this bugger wont relent. In fact he directed the guard not to allow us in and left on his bike to god knows where.
We finally were allowed to keep our stuff when our broker pleaded with him on phone but werent allowed to move in till we got the Managing committee’s permission.
What perplexed us was that we had Police verification documents with us , the Agreement signed between us and the owner , infact these 2 documents would have sufficed to prove that we were no ruffians who would disturb the tranquility of this society ! I still am waiting to see what the Managing commitee members would add value to in addition to the police verification. In fact ill have to wait for another week to move in as all Managing committee members could not assemble at the same time in a short span of time.
Im so pissed right now that in case they ask me my antecedents , ill make sure i get theirs too recorded in front of me. I also have the right to know whether these managing committee members are fit to live in the same society as mine
This high handedness is unwarranted. Hope people realise that the people in mumbai are known to be cooperative and cordial. This reputation is taking a beating day by day.
Dreams…till when can they be just dreams
Dream baby dream…make them turn ti reality and see them enact themselves on this stage of life
That’s whats keeping my mind occupied nowadays. Its that restlessness inside me thats got to find a way to turn into something which i can call my own. How many times in the day do i think about the pain im going thru listening to what others want me to do ? Its amazing how people control the will of others and they let them …Im also one of those creatures who right now doesnt have a will of his own but im one of them trying to break out of the shackles of inhibitions and create my own identity on the face of this earth.
I’ll be foolish to say that i dont care about the consequences but im ready to face them in whatever form they confront me with.
I want to create something which i can call my own . Just passionately thinking about this and believing in this has transformed my life completely. I am gonna take a plunge and i wud love everyone to support me but im not counting on them to help me. I do care about people around me and their feelings too. But if in the process of achieving what i want , i hurt them i am upfront sorry for it. Coz i want an identity , i want to prove beyond doubt to everyone on the face of this earth that im capable and i mean every word i say .
Cryptic , no its very simple to decipher. Its no Da vinci’s Code.
Believe in me and ill prove you right.
AB
Relationship management
This thought just struck me while i was discussing some relationship matters with someone close to me. It so happened that while we were discussing expectations in a relationship, it struck that what happens if for one of them (say X), this is their first relationship and for the other person (say Y) it is > 1. Another caveat here….what if the Y has had only bitter endings in the previous relationships??
This is just a thought from the point of view of expectations….
It might happen that X would have expectations of this relationship to be a fairy tale one with everything being perfect. NO fights , no arguments etc etc. A perfect relationship so to say (if there’s any like that)
and Y would definitely question this theory of a perfect relationship coz he would be starting off this new relationship from a base which is completely bitter and so to say close to level 0 while X would want it to be base (infinity)…..
So, while Y would expect a base some what higher than 0 (obviously not infinity) , X would expect nothing short of base infinity (or utopia so to say)
So, the only way this relationship would function properly is when the expectation mismatch is eliminated.In a way, there’s a need to settle down to 0+infinity divided by 2 or somewhere in the middle.
Y speak: There’s nothing like a perfect relationship with no fights , no arguments …and if there is one like this its missing on the imperfections which add spice to a relationship. But in case the dose of spice increases then the taste of the dish is lost
Its all about perceptions
One guy said it about Marketing and I completely agree with it. This article is not written to reinforce this point or prove it in theory, because I don’t aim to do a practical study to enforce this. It is a statement which I believe everyday I see things around me.
My perception about events, people, products etc around me is completely different to what others have or may have. To say that I’ve discovered that it’s all because of the fact that we are in a different state of mind every second, would be a fallacy. It’s just that I haven’t read up on this matter enough to quote anyone. I’m sure someone would’ve written or talked about this before me every single moment man has lived on this earth. It’s such a common thing to think and every broad minded individual would’ve thought and / or talked about perceptions. It’s too generic and simple to be missed.
Coming back to the point of perceptions. Take for example the change of wardrobe which I recently engineered for myself. It was met with strong opposition from my parents especially my mom. I perceived this as necessary as my attire was not fit for the kind of job that I was doing. It was not in fashion and with the kind of clients I would be interacting with , it was absolutely necessary to re engineer it completely. But she did not see eye to eye with me on this. “Work is work and attire does matter , but what about all the stuff that you have before. Will that go waste? Will that rot in the closet? Why should I discard all the stuff which you haven’t worn enough, till now? At least try to use it once in a while.” This was how she countered me. J
I come from a middle class family with safe drinking habits. By this I mean we are concerned about the water which we drink. Water in this part of the world is not safe even if it comes from the municipality. You have to filter it to make it potable. But I don’t understand why people have preference for drinking only mineral water or for that matter imported packaged water from France when packaged water certified to all European standards of purity, made in India, tastes the same?
Yes , when the idea of perceptions being completely different has come to be written about, then why not discuss perceptions changing over time. I again remember an incident happening to me at home. This time it was my mother serving soup in normal “katori” accompanied by a steel spoon , when I rejected the idea and asked her for a bone china soup bowl and spoon instead. Although my request was spurned with a queer look from her but I couldn’t enjoy the soup in that utensil. I’m the same person who used to drink from the same utensil years back and suddenly I changed. Probably the consulting bug has bit me and i’m into the same mode back at home also , trying to live a life up worldly where everything seems so perfect and from the Victorian era.
State of mind phenomena also changes your perception. This incident is my favorite as I’ve seen this happen dime a dozen. Before every party , everyone would say we love boozing and getting high but when the high reaches disproportionate levels and it all spills out in the end with a heavy head crushing hangover , then the only thought that comes to mind is “Why the hell did God invent booze?? L and I’m not going to drink heavy next time” !!
Random thoughts
1. Whenever i start writing it happens that i tend to focus more on myself rather than things around me. Things that shape my personality and ultimately help me shape my destiny. Why does it happen?
2. Writing always seems fun , when there is silence everywhere.
3. Cribbing about the shitty work you’re doing in office seems to be the first thing you discuss with your colleague
4. I just feel as if someone would feel i’m sucking upto seniors , even if it means genuinely talking about your interest to him/her.
5. I’ve opened myself a lot to others. I keeptalking about myself to anyone and everyone i meet. Does that make me self centered?
6. I’ve started seeing dreams which tend to mirror , what i used to think about some people before.Those people are present in those dreams being the same way i perceived them to be behind my back.
7. Am I weird?
Atleast I have one answer -
Ans – 7 – Who cares?
Love for Music…Ageless
Ever wondered what would happen to your love for music once life takes a toll on you?
Ever wondered where would the mindless escapades would vanish (which not – so – obviously came after 4 pegs down with music playing on ur mind) once corporate culture rips your selfish soul aprt?
Never thought about so much in the future as i did today. It was only after i met Pillai today that this thought crossed my mind. It kind of strengthened when i read Fauji’s first post or zuerst post (as he calls it) about 5 minutes back.
Coming back to the main point about which i started the post with. Music and the love for it . Me and my college (Grad coll) friend Antil were sitting in a pub in Connaught place today and drinking away not so merrily when he signalled , that the same elderly man whom we’d seen about a month ago was back again the same place.
But this time he wasn’t dancing to the tunes of rock music. He was sitting on his own , ‘lonely’ on his table , as it appeared to us – though it may not be actually true, drinking his blues away. I just walked up to him and spoke to him for a minute, mentioning our experience when we saw him dancing alone in front of the speakers in the corner of the pub. It was an amazing sight, true to the experience of hearing that beautiful song which was mellowing down the Bose speakers.
He acknowledged our gesture and came up and said these beautiful words ” I hope when you’re my age , you will replicate the love for music the same way i do now”
It struck me and will strike anyone who listened to Pillai today. Rock on PLay as he mentioned his name to us again.
Don’t go by the age…its by no way a comparison to what Pillai looks like but the energy is the same!
A peek into the past – Places ive stayed @
I’ve not been to many places in this short life of around 25 years , but still places or in fact cities ive stayed for more than a month @ have left me a different person altogether.
I’ll start in a random order with one of my favs being -
Sana’a , Capital of Yemen – This country as i would describe to my mates in school – as the country which appears in the world map a lil below K SA , has given me the best time in my life till now. The formative years so to say , were spent here and i studied in a good institution run by Indians , for many nationalities – The Indian Embassy School. Through my father’s conversations (which i normally overheard) , i came to know that the people of this country were more favourable to the Pakistanis than Indians. Though i never got a chance to experience this bit. I would also remember this city for my first experience with socialising. The community here was very well close and we used to spend evenings catching a game of baddy with friends and i even managed to win 2 championships here. This was the first time i interacted with children from various countries , be it Ethiopia , Somalia , USA , France , Yemen , Saudi Arabia , India ( from various parts – Gujarat , TN , Maharashtra , etc etc..) .
Delhi – Capital of India - Another city which i would love to stay in. As soon as i enter Delhi , I feel a sense of homeliness , a city i can call my own.This is the city where most of my relatives stay and I’ve spent most of my life in. Majority of school life , undergrads , first corporate job….can’t count the years.Although the people here are much rougher to say the least as compared to Mumbai , but its got its share of niceties to beat mumbai. Green cover , Fresh air , Wide roads , Lutyens Delhi , India Gate , Chandni Chowk , Connaught Place , DU , Metro !!… This is also where i first fell in love. In-fact second time as well!
Mumbai – Financial Capital of India - 2 months on the trot @ chembur , Worli and Thane and working at service outlets and sales stations of Maruti. I won’t deny it was one hell of an experience but it wasn’t what it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be an experience for getting to know the ground realities of sales and service but it turned out to be 40% S&M and rest 60% travel and enjoyment. I still remember the dance bar experience with 3 of my colleagues from Maruti ( One of them- Tanuj , had specially come down from Ahmedabad for this)….It turned out to be an embarrassing experience, We just wanted to see what happens inside. It was one cheap affair to remember , with Thakur and me , being asked by waiters whether we wanted a hooker from options who were dancing away on the floor in front of us. We gulped our beer as fast as we could and returned home. An experience of Services – “Customer is King” – Maruti has this policy – and service personnel have to bear the brunt of the customer’s ire again and again. The Service center Manager used to be treated like a peon by customers in the Worli area where , as was told by him , a Maruti is usually a second or third car for the residents. So , it used to start in the morning 10 a.m and till 10p.m in the night when the manager would step onto a train to Borivili ( in-fact till he would switch off his mobile phone for which he had 2 batteries!) , he would be constantly hounded by customers. “Meri gadi kab milegi”, “Struts main se awaaz abhi bhi aa rahi hai” , “Traffic main se jaati hai to band ho jaati hai gaadi”…”Kya karun …free service do mujhe”…..and what not!!!…To top it all that guy was a professional rally driver…a pint sized dynamo with immense sense of cars and bikes.
To be continued…
Mistakes and Rejection
I was suddenly reminded of ‘Rejection’ as a topic of discussion when i was seeing a reality contest on TV in which every week they eliminate a contestant. During one of these episodes , a contestant couldn’t handle the fact that he did not take full advantage of the opportunity given to him and succumbed to pressures of the situation. He obviously goofed up. Instead of accepting his fault , he started throwing fits , acting as if he was getting dizzy and telling it was lack of sleep and exhaustion which was making him nervous.
What was more appalling , was judges giving him a second chance. We’ll discuss more on reality TV judges in another post but you see these kind of cover ups , blame games , passing the buck kind of instances everywhere. Is there anyone ready to take blame for the wrong that they do, the mistakes they make?
We believe in the saying “Nobody’s perfect” and “Learn from your mistakes”…. Then why do we dread accepting our mistakes , our faults?
Its rare nowadays that you meet people, who accept mistakes and do not shirk responsibility attached to their actions. But that breed is getting extinct at a disturbing rate.
What could be the reasons behind this attitude?
I’m no researcher to identify them but some which i could think of are :
Firstly , there is so much of responsibility and risk attached to each decision of yours , that accepting blame for a wrong one may lead to immense opportunity lost.
Secondly , there is not enough transparency in systems to reveal the truth , so people hide it as far as they could.
Btw society doesn’t essentially reward people who accept responsibility for their wrong deeds/actions. So why accept ? huh…
Any more ideas??
Philosophy…my style
Stroke of luck you can say. It was just a small trip to a rest room when i got this thought in mind and i decided to pen i down coz it applied to me. Ill call it philosophy # 1 …
It basically states that a man has three states in his life.
State – 1 – This is the state where he has no idea what the world is all about and is still in the process of discovering what he is all about and in addition also tries to wonder what is the meaning and purpose of those around him. Once he gets a hang of things around him and a lil bit of sense of what he is …he transcends to state # 2
State-2 – Ill call it the stage of selfishness. This is where he gets a real hang of himself and does things that satisfy him. Mind it , he might think that a lot of work that hes doing is for the greater good. But essentially it is all driven by a need to satisfy his own inner being.Some people remain in this state and transcend to their abode in this very stage of life. But some go on and try to reach the third one.
State-3- This state ill call the state of contribution. It might seem to be interlinked , intertwined whatever you call it , with the state # 2 but its another state all together. Its the state where a person tris hard to life beyond his own self. Ive seen less of people who’ve seen this stage. People who go all out and think beyond their own self and live for others. I feel most of us human beings live and die in state # 2 . Never even put a foot in state # 3 . Although inside us we feel we’ve done enough for others and lived a part of our life for other , but the truth is , we’ve only tried to satisfy our selfish nature.
I’ve not had enough gray hair on my head or beard as yet to say which of the three stages is better w.r.t to the other. So take your pick or read some saintly , life leading books on such stuff!!
(Comments are not meant to be chauvinistic all because they are in a particular gender but are intended to apply to the other sex(es) as well)
